Surviving Valentine’s Day after your divorce or separation

 Posted on January 30, 2019 in Divorce

Is your first Valentine’s Day following your divorce or separation coming up?

The first “anything” important after a breakup — especially when it’s the end of a marriage, not just a romance — can be rough. However, Valentine’s Day is especially poignant for many people going through a separation or divorce because of its romantic connotations. Anyone who is used to being part of a couple is probably excruciatingly conscious of being alone on that day in particular.

How can you cope with Valentine’s Day stress? Try these tricks:

1. Stay away from your ex

Don’t give in to the temptation to contact your ex via text or social media. You may end up making yourself feel worse. The momentary nostalgia the holiday provokes won’t overcome the realities that led you to the divorce in the first place.

2. Go on a “date” with someone else

You don’t have to find romance to have a good time. You can go out with a group of friends or a best friend — or even your kids. Dress up and celebrate your love of life instead of some romantic notion.

3. Buy yourself a gift

There’s no rule that says you can’t buy yourself flowers, that special item you’ve been watching at the mall or even a piece of jewelry. If you miss the fun of getting something special, treat yourself!

4. Do something you couldn’t do with your ex

Maybe you love “chick-flicks” or horror movies and your ex-spouse hated them. Maybe you like going to wine bars and listening to jazz, but your ex thought that was dull and boring. Whatever you’ve had to put aside for the sake of marital harmony is available to you once again. Grab an Uber and go out — enjoy your time as a single person who doesn’t have to compromise about what you do with your time.

Don’t worry — this first post-breakup Valentine’s Day will soon be over, and you can get back to normal. By this time next year, your divorce will be a memory and you’ll be comfortable in your new life as a single person once more.