Recent Blog Posts
What’s the right of a ‘fit parent’ in Texas to custody?
Imagine this: You and your ex have a child together. Your relationship with your ex remains amicable despite the breakup because you both care deeply about your child. Eventually, your ex moves on and gets into another relationship. It turns serious — but then your ex is killed in a tragic accident. Suddenly, your ex’s new love interest is suing you for custody of your child — and a judge gives it to them.
Sounds insane, right? Well, that’s exactly what happened to one Texas father after his ex — the mother of his child — died in a car wreck. Her fiance, who had lived with the mother and child for a while, asked the court for partial custody of the little girl over the objections of the biological father and his new wife. The lower court granted the fiance’s petition — ultimately forcing the child’s father to take the case all the way to the state’s Supreme Court.
In what has been called “the most significant parent rights case in Texas history,” the Supreme Court said that the trial court relied on the “best interests of the child standard” when it made its decision. That’s standard in all custody cases. However, the higher court ruled that the trial judge, in essence, substituted the court’s opinion about what was best for the little girl in place of what the child’s own father believed was best for the little girl.
Divorcing a narcissist isn’t easy: Here are some tips
“You can’t live with them — and they don’t want you to live peacefully without them, either.” That’s probably the best way to describe the situation when you’re divorcing a narcissist.
While most divorces (about 95%) end up being settled without litigation through some combination of negotiation, mediation and collaboration, you can’t expect a divorce with a narcissist to go that way. In fact, you should probably anticipate ending up in court.
The nature of a narcissist’s psychological disorder almost guarantees that they’ll approach the situation as if there can only be one winner — and they’re determined to be it. They may also use a court battle to force you to keep engaging with them and get your attention. They also frequently like the sense of power they get from aggravating you with motion after motion and dragging you into court over yet another issue.
3 signs marriage counseling may not be working
All marriages have their ups and downs. Nevertheless, if your union seems to have a greater number of bad days than good ones, marriage counseling may be an option. While couples therapy usually does not fix everything, it may be a convenient way to solve many of the problems with your marriage.
You can probably trust your marriage counselor to do his or her best. If you and your spouse commit to working with the counselor, you may improve your marriage. Still, couples counseling does not always stave off divorce. Here are three signs marriage counseling may not be working for you.
1. Your spouse is already done
When couples counseling works, spouses often wish they had started it significantly earlier. If you wait too long, though, your spouse may have already decided to call it quits. Continuing with counseling may not only waste your time, but it may also needlessly deplete your financial resources.
Can you adopt an adult in Texas?
Adoption is a great way for a family-in-fact to become legal family. It’s used all the time in cases involving parents and minor children. But what if you want to adopt an adult? Can you do that in Texas?
You can. As long as the adult you want to adopt consents to the adoption. The process is actually fairly simple:
- You file the adoption petition. If you are married, your spouse must also be part of the petition and agree with the adoption.
- The adult you wish to adopt must consent in writing to the adoption.
- Both the petitioner (you) and the adult you wish to adopt usually must attend the hearing (although the court can waive that requirement if there’s a good enough reason)
Once the process is complete, the adopted adult is legally your child. (Bear in mind, this terminates the legal ties and inheritance rights that adult child may have with their biological parents.)
Here are the custody issues you and your ex will fight about
Rearing a child is hugely rewarding — but it isn’t easy. Every parent struggles with the decisions they have to make. That struggle can be compounded, however, when a parent is divorced and you and your ex-spouse aren’t on the same page about your parenting plans.
If you’re in the process of developing a custody schedule and parenting plan with your ex, the best way to avoid a big problem down the line is to anticipate potential disagreements now — before the situation turns critical (and gets heated).
Here are some of the issues you may want to address in your parenting plan:
- Medical care, including whether to use traditional medicine or homeopathic treatments most of the time, whether to vaccinate or not
- Mental health treatments, including the use of medication for behavioral problems or ADHD
These 4 mistakes will make your divorce harder
Nobody really ever wants a divorce — they just want to be happy. If you’ve figured out that happiness definitely isn’t with your spouse, however, a divorce is the way you’ve got to go.
Just try to avoid the following mistakes during the process:
1. Don’t start out being aggressive.
Unless you want your situation to get really ugly really fast, take a cooperative approach toward you spouse when it comes to the split. Instead of rattling off a list of demands or making threats, ask your spouse if you can work together to make the split as easy on each other as possible. If this approach fails, there’s plenty of time for an aggressive stance later.
2. Don’t make any major lifestyle changes.
How much do temporary custody orders matter?
In Texas and other states alike, temporary orders are used to establish some operating terms while a couple goes through a divorce. They can allocate the use of the marital home and cars, establish support amounts and even determine who pays what share of the household bills until the divorce is settled.
Since these orders are just temporary pending a deeper exploration of the disputed issues, how much should you be concerned about the temporary orders that are put in place regarding custody of the children?
Plenty. First of all, it can take a long time for a divorce to be finalized, especially if there are conflicts. Custody of the children is always decided on whatever is in their best interests. It’s entirely possible that a judge will decide that the kids — after a year or so of living under the temporary orders — are already accustomed to the current arrangement and their routine shouldn’t be disrupted with any changes. That could put you in an uphill battle if you want to make any changes.
Don't stay stuck in a bad marriage
You know that your marriage isn’t a happy one, but did you know that it’s probably also damaging to your health?
Researchers say that being in a high-conflict relationship where disagreements over things like hobbies, the kids, the in-laws or the bills are common can actually hurt you physically, not just emotionally. While people in relatively agreeable unions tend to live longer and stay healthier than single people, the same is definitely not true for those who are unhappily wed.
If your spouse isn’t supportive of you or is outright difficult to live with, that can lead to an increase in your body’s inflammatory response. It can also affect how much cortisol, or stress hormones, are flooding your body on a daily basis. In turn, that can affect everything from the health of your heart and to how well you’re sleeping or eating.
Dealing with a ‘Disneyland’ parent
Have you ever heard the term “Disneyland dad” or “Disneyland mom?”
It’s the phrase used to describe a non-custodial parent who sweeps in on their rare visitation weekends, scoops up the kids and showers them with gifts, suspends bedtimes, loads up on pizza and other goodies and basically turns the entire weekend into a party — leaving you to be the disciplinarian who makes the kids go to bed on time, do their homework and eat their vegetables.
That gets really old really fast when you’re the custodial parent who has to deal with the emotional fallout every time the kids come back home. You might understand when grandparents act that way, but is it too much expect your co-parent to be an actual adult?
Probably. Here’s are some things you can do:
- Let the kids have their fun: It sounds counterintuitive, but you’re only hurting yourself and your relationship with the kids by scowling over the presents or growling over the way their other parent lets them run wild. Bite your tongue if you have to, but work on smoothly steering the kids back into their usual routine without comment on your ex’s parenting skills.
Will collaborative divorce help your child accept and adapt?
The breakup of a family unit is difficult for everyone, but perhaps most traumatic for younger, school-age children.
Traditional litigation can be especially stressful for children, but they fare much better when parents choose the less adversarial approach known as collaborative divorce.
Understanding how it works
In a collaborative divorce, each party engages the services of an attorney trained in this kind of process. The attorneys will provide guidance and assist in negotiations that ultimately lead to a settlement satisfactory to both spouses. Collaborative divorce covers all the issues spouses expect a judge to help settle during a traditional court proceeding, including property division,child custody,child support and spousal maintenance. Often, spousesbring in professionals such as accountants or social workers whose expertise is helpful in resolving sticking points.
Realizing benefits