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Millennials embrace the prenup
Despite being the target of a lot of jokes, the millennial generation may be the savviest generation yet when it comes to marriage and finances.
That’s because they’re realistic about the possibility of divorce — even when they’re in love. According to a recent survey, more and more millennials are hedging their bets before marriage and using prenuptial agreements to protect their property and wealth in the event of a divorce.
Alimony and real estate are two hot-button issues for many millennial couples. Alimony, or spousal support, is less common than it used to be — but it can still be awarded if the circumstances are right. Prenups can either eliminate alimony or set down terms that make everyone comfortable.
Real estate is another issue that can become complicated in a divorce. Even if the property was owned by one member of a couple prior to marriage, marital money that goes toward improvements could give the other spouse a stake in the property in the future. Millennials with investment property also often seek to insulate their holdings and gains in a property’s value against any claims from a spouse.
When shouldn’t you bother with mediation before divorce?
Mediation is often presented as a great alternative to a litigated divorce — and it can be! However, it does have its limitations. There are times when all the good intentions in the world aren’t going to help you avoid litigation and mediation is simply a waste of money, time and effort.
So, how do you know when it’s better to skip mediation altogether? These are the signs:
Your spouse is only doing it to please the judge
Some judges heavily encourage mediation, but a spouse that doesn’t want to be there can make his or her demands so outrageous that there’s really no point. What they want is to go back to the judge and say, “I tried it.” They’re not really interested in an actual resolution.
You feel intimidated by your spouse
You can make joint custody of the kids work
Joint custody often sounds like a nightmare to divorcing parents. The idea of working together with your ex-spouse on anything, let alone the kids, can sound just about impossible.
These days, however, joint custody agreements are generally preferred by the courts. There’s been a lot of evidence presented that shared custody is beneficial for the children — and that’s the guiding principle behind the judge’s decisions in a case.
Experts suggest the following to help make joint custody work:
1. Treat the situation like a business deal.
If you view your ex-spouse as a caregiver to your children and nothing more, it may be easier to separate your feelings and get down to the business of simply taking care of the kids. View your ex-spouse as an asset to your time management and childcare needs, not competition.
3 mistakes you shouldn’t make on a prenuptial agreement
Prenuptial agreements used to be something that only the very wealthy had. However, many couples from all economic backgrounds consider them today, partially because there are so many young people who are actively engaged in operating their own businesses. They want to make certain that their romantic entanglements don’t end up inadvertently destroying everything they’ve worked so hard to build.
Unfortunately, signing the wrong prenup can be just as bad as not signing one at all. If you’re heading into a marriage that involves a prenuptial agreement, here are three things you need to consider carefully.
1. Don’t sign a fidelity clause without careful consideration
Most people probably think that a clause that punishes a spouse financially in the divorce for cheating is fair, but you need to review the agreement carefully.
There is a learning curve to the co-parenting experience
If divorce is in the wind, you are probably beginning to wonder how the family breakup will affect your children. It is an important issue, and you want to be prepared.
Raising your children in a post-divorce world will require a good parenting plan, but when problems pop up, do not be discouraged. Remember that there is a learning curve to the job of co-parenting.
Planning
The first order of business is to develop a plan, a paper outline of responsibilities so you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse can refer to it. Parenting plans have been a requirement in the state of Texas since 2005. The purpose is to establish the duties and rights of the parents and to foster a close relationship with the children.
Scheduling
You have work schedules. The children have school and activity schedules. These will form the foundation concerning who will be responsible for what child at what time. You will also want to make schedules that will allow the children to fall into a routine. It will help them to know, for example, what time dinner will be each night, what time they will need to do their homework and what time one of you will pick them up to go to the movies.
Wealthy couple’s feud continues after divorce
Some couples can’t seem to let go of a bad thing. That’s certainly the case in involving a billionaire couple who ended their 32-year-old marriage on acrimonious terms. Apparently, they still can’t get enough of fighting with each other, and neither seems willing to move on.
The resulting inferno has swept up just about everyone in its wake, including the siblings and other relatives of the 68-year old ex-wife and the employees of the 74-year-old ex-husband. Even people just trying to make deliveries to their homes have been caught up in the ongoing drama.
Soon, a judge will decide whether or not the restraining order obtained by the ex-wife can be made permanent and extended to cover her siblings and others that are involved.
Both ex-spouses allege a pretty extensive list of complaints against the other. The ex-wife has accused the ex-husband of leaving the home he was required to vacate an absolute disaster. She alleges he even used bottles of foul-smelling novelty products to make the house unbearable.
How do you survive a divorce with a narcissist?
Most couples go through their divorces rather quietly. They instinctively know that it’s better to work things out than battle it out in court. The financial expense of a court battle alone is intimidating enough — and that’s before you get to the fact that going to court means letting a stranger (the judge) control your life.
Not so, the narcissistic spouse. They generally have a need to punish their husbands or wives for failing to live up to their standards or for leaving — and they want the whole world to witness it (and agree with them).
If you’re reading this, the odds are very good that you already know your spouse is a narcissist. The question is how you can get through a divorce with your sanity and life reasonably intact. Here are some tips from the experts:
Anticipate the narcissist’s behavior
You can generally expect the narcissist to engage in the following actions:
- Public blaming
- A refusal to negotiate
Leaving children home alone during summer
One of the biggest problems parents often face during the summer is what to do with their children. Childcare options are expensive and often limited. Couples sometimes split shifts — with one parent working days and the other nights in order to make sure that their child is supervised. Single parents hire sitters or pay relatives to watch their children.
At some point, however, you may start wondering if your child could be old enough to stay home alone for a while — and what the laws are on the issue.
In Texas, there is no specific law regarding “how old is old enough” to be left alone. However, that doesn’t mean that a child of any age can simply be left alone. If you don’t use good judgement, leaving a child alone at home for even a short while can result in your arrest and charges of neglect. It could also quickly propel you into a battle for custody with concerned relatives, including ex-spouses or grandparents.
Divorce linked to lifestyle changes, early death
Divorced people are at a higher risk for early deaths — but science hasn’t really understood why marital status and mortality were related until recently.
It turns out that there may be a simple underlying cause for the connection: behavioral and lifestyle changes after divorce. In specific, divorced people are more likely to smoke and engage in less physical activity than their married counterparts.
In a study that involved both married and unmarried participants over the course of more than a decade, researchers examined the subjects’ self-reported levels of personal satisfaction, smoking habits and exercise habits. Over time, they discovered that married participants were 46 percent less likely to die than those participants who divorced.
They also discovered that the divorced participants were generally less satisfied with their lives. In turn, they tended to smoke more and exercise less often. While researchers are still speculating why the three issues seem related, one possibility is simply that the divorced participants didn’t feel particularly accountable for their behavior to anyone else significant. That led to poorer life choices — which created a domino-like effect on their habits and health.
Common reasons for terminating parental rights
Ideally, both parents would remain involved in their children’s lives after a divorce. However, as you are aware, sometimes one or both parents are unsuited to care for their children. To protect the children involved, family law courts in Texas must occasionally revoke parental rights.
You may be interested in learning the different reasons for terminating a parent’s rights. According to FindLaw, this is usually done for the children’s physical or emotional well-being. Parental rights are most often revoked in the following situations:
- Physical, verbal, emotional or sexual abuse
- Chronic or severe neglect of the children’s needs
- Abandonment of the children or failure to maintain contact or support
- Drug addiction, alcoholism or substance abuse