Recent Blog Posts
DNA testing opens up new choices to adoptees, birth parents
DNA kits like those from Ancestry and 23 and Me are becoming commonplace everywhere. What was mostly a cottage industry has seen tremendous growth thanks to aggressive advertising in the last year or two.
That’s creating all sorts of unexpected complications for adoptees, their adoptive parents and even some birth parents. It also suggests that the law may have to eventually take new steps if it wants to keep up with the science of the times.
DNA kits are a huge hit. However, they also stand the potential for disrupting lives in numerous ways. For example, someone who hasn’t been told he or she was adopted may find out the hard way after doing a DNA test without mentioning it to his or her family in advance.
Similarly, DNA kits also sometimes unexpectedly turn up something — or someone — else: A birth parent or even siblings that might otherwise have remained a mystery. It can even uncover details that were placed under court-ordered seals and designed to stay that way in bygone years before the science was possible.
Helping kids cope with the first Christmas after a divorce
The Ghost of Christmas Past can wield a lot of power over a family. The small, homely rituals of each previous year combine to create a certain excitement and expectation for the current year’s holiday season.
Divorce disrupts all of that — and your children may feel that disruption even more strongly than you do. So how do you help your kids regain their sense of family when it hasn’t even been a year since your divorce?
1. Talk about everyone’s feelings.
You may be afraid to bring up the subject of grief over the way things were — especially if your child hasn’t mentioned it.
However, children may just not know where to start or they may be afraid of upsetting you if they don’t seem happy. Never equate silence with the idea that everything’s okay.
Let your kids know that it’s okay to feel sad or nostalgic about the good times when your family was still intact.
Reassure them know that even though things are different, you can still have a good time over the holidays.
What is ‘Divorce Day’?
Are you ready for a divorce but not ready to upset the kids, your in-laws, your parents or even your spouse over the holidays?
If so, you aren’t alone. There’s something about the season that either gives people renewed hope about their marriage or makes it utterly clear that the romance is finally over.
That’s why lawyers have come to call the first Monday following the Christmas break as “Divorce Day.” According to many attorneys, Divorce Day isn’t strictly an American custom — it’s a phenomenon seen in several different countries where Christmas is an important tradition. Come the following Monday, however, appointments to file for divorce nearly triple the usual number.
Some relationship gurus even think that there’s a combination of factors at play:
- People don’t want to associate the holidays with their divorce or set that image up in their children’s minds (if they have any).
Family issues, domestic violence led to church shooting in Texas
Domestic violence is a very real hazard when it comes time for couples to split up. The sad truth is that domestic violence can spill over from just the two people involved in the relationship into the lives of others in tragic ways.
For example, the recent shooting in a Texas church that took the lives of 26 people and inflicted injuries on another 20 people as they were praying stemmed entirely from complicated family issues.
Among the victims were several relatives of the gunman’s estranged wife. He and his mother-in-law had been exchanging text messages and his had taken a threatening tone. It’s believed that he felt that his wife’s family was to blame for the couple’s estrangement.
In the past, the shooter had been violent with his wife. According to records that were recently made public, the gunman had previously hit and choked his wife. He also stuck his wife’s child hard enough that he could have either seriously injured or killed the girl.
Child custody when you are older with a younger partner
Child experts, parenting experts, many lawyers and judges agree that children generally benefit when both of their parents are involved in their lives. Of course, exceptions sometimes exist in cases of abuse and in a few other situations.
If you are an older parent, say, close to retirement age or even in retirement, with a co-parent who is significantly younger, you might wonder if your age affects your chances of gaining joint custody of your children or of getting liberal visitation. The answer is that it probably will not.
Cooperation goes a long way
In any co-parenting situation, cooperation between both parents is critical for a smooth process to occur, and this is true no matter the parents’ age. It could be that, due to your age, you are not as able to chase around a young child like your co-parent would, but that does not make you any less capable of a parent. The mobility of parents of any age can be restricted due to disability, for example. As long as your co-parent recognizes what you have to offer and is willing to grant you the access to your children that you deserve, a judge is unlikely to disqualify a parenting plan just because of your age.
Millennials and divorce: A different generation’s take
Divorce attorneys are starting to meet more clients from the Millennial generation as the older members of the generation reach the age where they find themselves married and considering divorce.
Divorce attorneys are finding that Millennials are not exactly what they expect.
As a group, Millennials are stereotyped to be less loyal and less traditional. However, attorneys find that their clients in that generation may have less combined property and debt — but deeply intertwined emotions and lives. As a whole, they seem genuinely committed to their relationships — but also pragmatic and unwilling to hang onto a long-term relationship that isn’t working.
If you’re a member of that generation and this is an attitude that you share with others of your generation, a divorce attorney can help you craft an “exit plan” that’s practical and agreeable to both you and your life partner in case things don’t work out:
- A cohabitation agreement — Texas still acknowledges common law marriages. While it takes more than just cohabitation to create a common law marriage, cohabitation agreements can provide protection in the event that a common law marriage develops (either by accident or design).
Modifying child custody orders in Texas
Once a divorce decree is in hand, most parents in Texas are afraid to rock the boat. They have survived numerous negotiations, overcome life-changing obstacles and entered into the best possible child custody plan for their kids. However, what if something happens down the road to upset this plan? Should parents face this challenge on their own or should they seek help from the court?
We want you to know that any legal issues have their ups and their downs, including a request for child custody modifications. At the same time, seeking a modification does not mean that you and your ex are bad parents. Many things can happen that make it hard for parents to adhere to the original arrangement.
For example, if one spouse’s work schedule changes, it may make the original visitation agreement difficult — if not impossible — to maintain. One or both parents must work to care for their kids, so this could be a viable reason to seek a child custody order modification.
Why do so many marriages end in divorce?
To many, the marriage landscape in America looks grim. Depending upon the source you use, some estimate that half of all marriages end in divorce while others believe the divorce rate is falling across the nation. Regardless, it is a fact that too many marriages fail in the U.S.
People get a divorce for many reasons, some of them unique to the couple and to the relationship. Still, a pattern does exist that helps identify the main causes of divorce in the nation and in Texas. Some of these reasons are listed below.
- Financial problems: Whether it is constant disagreements about how to spend money or simply not having enough of it, money can drive a life-changing wedge between spouses.
- Cheating: Betrayal of any kind is difficult to overcome and can wreak havoc on a relationship. Cheating physically and emotionally is a major reason couples turn to divorce.
Do family law attorneys recommend postnuptial agreements?
Each family law issue is unique in several ways. They are unique because of the people involved and the nature of the problems they may be experiencing. For these reasons and others, it is always wise to speak with a lawyer before formalizing any marital agreement. With that said, the short answer to your question is yes, family law attorneys do often recommend postnuptial agreements for Texas couples experiencing marital difficulties.
You should also understand just what a postnup could do for your relationship. Often, one of the biggest areas of conflict between couples revolves around finances. A marital agreement can address this aspect of a relationship by specifying financial arrangements should divorce or separation occur.
Postnuptial agreements may also address family law matters like property division, child support and debt division. Having such a legal contract in place if divorce becomes a possibility can reduce or eliminate much of the conflict that goes hand-in-hand with ending a marriage.
As a minor, can I divorce my parents in the state of Texas?
Family law attorneys will nearly always tell you that preservation of the family unit is the ultimate goal. The lawyers with this firm are no exception. However, there are certain situations in which it may be in the minor’s best interests to sever the parental connection legally. This process is called emancipation and as you might imagine, it can be a complex endeavor.
The youngest age at which a minor can seek emancipation in Texas is 16 years. To become emancipated at this young age, the minor must already be living apart from his or her parents. In all other cases, children must be 17-years old in order to separate legally from their parents.
Age is not the only criteria for emancipation. Minors must also be able support themselves and manage their own affairs. Further, they will have to show the family law court system how they intend to meet this criteria. Minors must also be able to prove why emancipation from their parents is in their best interests. In other words, they have to have a valid and viable reason for requesting emancipation.