Recent Blog Posts
Divorce rates are up in Texas: Here’s why
Texas divorce courts are a little busy right now. That’s not particularly surprising, given that much of the nation experiences a surge in the number of newly filed divorce petitions around this time of year.
Why does it happen so regularly (and predictably) every year? Most attorneys say that it comes down to several different reasons, depending on the couple:
- Some couples have already agreed to divorce before the new year starts. However, they don’t want to break the news to their children, family or friends until the holidays are over because they know the situation will detract from the holiday celebrations.
- Some people quietly come to the realization that they’re unhappy and use the new year as a starting point for their “new selves.” Much like a commitment to get healthier, eat better or exercise more, deciding to finally leave an unhappy marriage is part of their New Year’s resolutions.
How does custody differ in Texas from other states?
Texas laws can be somewhat unique — including the rules surrounding child custody. The terminology used and the way that custody is divided in this state may surprise you.
Here are some of the basics you need to know about child custody issues in Texas:
It conservatorship, not custody.
In this state, you don’t gain custody of a child. You are named the child’s conservator. Conservatorship is decided based on what the court determines is in the best interests of the children.
There’s more than one kind of conservatorship.
Conservatorship gives you the right to access your child’s school records, medical record and other important information related to their wellbeing. It also gives you the right to consent to medical treatment and other important issues.
What’s the point of divorce mediation?
When you’re going through a divorce, sitting down at a table and trying to negotiate with your spouse may sound like the very last thing you want to do.
Here’s why you should consider divorce mediation anyway:
Mediation can save money.
There are a lot of costs associated with divorce — and you naturally want to minimize them where you can. Typically, litigation costs a lot more than mediation. The amount of time you spend with your attorney or the mediator is going to be far less than what you would have to spend if your case has to go before a judge.
Mediation allows for tailored solutions.
If you take your divorce case to court, you can generally expect the judge to apply rules that don’t take into account any of the unique issues you and your family may have. One great thing about mediation is that it allows for carefully tailored solutions that actually work in real life.
What’s the cost of a divorce in Texas?
One thing that hits people hardest during a divorce is the expense of the process. Aside from filing fees, there may be expenses for realtors, appraisers, tax professionals and more. Every negotiation over how to divide the assets or what visitation and custody should look like takes time — and time costs money.
While there can be a huge variation in the amount that any couple pays for their divorce, it’s natural to wonder how much a divorce is likely to cost you. Unfortunately, there’s a bit of bad news for Texans: The state is one of the most costly when it comes to ending a marriage.
While it only costs a few hundred dollars to actually file for a divorce, the average cost of a divorce that doesn’t involve minor children is $15,600. If you do have children, that average cost shoots up dramatically — to about $23,500. That’s the fifth-highest cost in the country for both categories. (If you want to know who has it the worst, that’s Californians. The higher cost of living in the state is likely behind the extra expense.)
Common marital stress that leads to divorce
Marriages begin full of love, hope and desire. The drive to take care of each other for better or worse is alive and well. However, over time, the unfortunate realities of life may settle in and start to pry out those happy feelings, replacing them with stress.
A couple rarely wakes one day wanting to divorce. As the divorce rate hovers a little over 50%, the reality is that the stress that couples must endure through the years may wear down even the strongest allies. Becoming familiar with some of the common marital stressors that lead to divorce may help in getting you through.
Finances
For many years, couples going through a divorce claim that their biggest stressor is money. There are varying reasons for this top contributing factor to the decision to separate. In some instances, one spouse resents that the other is more successful and adds more to the bank account. On the flip side, in other couples, one spouse may feel too much pressure to make all the money while the other spouse makes little or none. In marriages where one spouse stays home with children, the money woes may flop back and forth between the two.
What should you reconsider after filing for divorce?
In Texas, there’s a 60-day “cool-off” period between the time you file a petition for a divorce and the time the court can grant it. The law is purposefully designed to give couples a chance to reconsider. Divorce is, after all, a big step and highly disruptive to the lives of everyone in the family.
So, if you’re one of the many people who have decided that January is the time to move forward with their divorce, should you reconsider your decision?
Here are some of the signs that your marriage really is over:
- You’d rather be alone than with your spouse. Maybe you can’t stand each other or maybe you just don’t interest each other anymore, but that’s a sure sign that neither of you is with the right person.
Support for a disabled child’s needs
When a child has special needs, you know that there are often unexpected expenses waiting around every corner. Many of those needs should be factored into a request for child support so that you — as your child’s primary physical custodian — don’t end up footing an uneven part of the bills.
Here are some of the most commonly overlooked expenses that a special needs child may have:
- Handicapped transportation services: Your child will have to get back and forth to appointments, school, therapy and more — and that requires transportation. Whether you should ask your ex-spouse to cover part of the cost of transport services or modifications to your vehicle depends mostly on your situation.
- Exercise equipment: Many children with special needs require physical therapy. In-home exercise equipment is sometimes the best solution — but it’s prohibitively expensive for many.
Texas judge’s Facebook post stirs trouble in custody case
There’s been a very public and highly-charged custody case going on in Texas regarding a transgender child that has conservative lawmakers and action groups in an uproar. We’ve discussed the many twists and turns in this case before — but a new incident has now thrown the case back into the spotlight prematurely — and illustrates some of the dangers of trying a custody case in modern times.
Dallas County Judge Kim Cooks presided over a trial by jury in the custody case a few months ago. In that trial, the father of the child, who was assigned male at birth but identifies as female, demanded full custody of the child. He claimed that his wife was forcing the child to identify as a girl and wanted to emasculate him. The jury agreed that one parent should have full custody — but said it should be the child’s mother, instead.
Judge Cooks disregarded the jury’s recommendation and left the current custody order in place — which gave both parents equal say in their child’s life. Some speculated that political pressure from higher up may have influenced her decision — since it is highly unusual to just ignore a jury’s decision.
How do you win a custody battle?
For divorcing parents, their No. 1 concern about “what happens next” is usually focused around the children. Many parents want to know how to win their custody case and are looking for reassurance that they can succeed.
Let’s talk about what you can do to improve your chances of doing just that. Here are some of the things you need to do:
1. Define what “winning” means for your situation
The ultimate goal should be making certain that your children are safe and have everything they need to thrive and be happy. In most cases, that means having a good relationship with both their parents. You may need to revise your approach to the custody situation and realize that “winning” doesn’t necessarily mean “exclusive custody.”
2. Be cooperative about parenting
Thinking about divorce during the holidays? You aren’t alone
The holiday season tends to put a lot of things about your familial relationships into sharp focus — particularly when those relationships leave something to be desired. Although people seldom disrupt the holiday celebrations by filing for divorce without a triggering event, it isn’t unusual for someone to quietly harbor a sense that it’s time to end their marriage and move on.
In fact, it happens all the time. According to at least one recent survey, there’s a spike in the divorce rate by about one-third immediately after the Christmas season is over.
Why? Well, turn on the Hallmark Channel or Netflix and take a look. Watch the ads you see on television. People are bombarded with images of happy family life and well-matched couples who are deeply in love. Given the financial and time constraints of the season, it’s easy to become frustrated in real life when that life doesn’t match up to the ideals that you’re being told exist — or the ones that you have in your head about what a marriage should be like.