Posted on January 16, 2020 in Divorce

Marriages begin full of love, hope and desire. The drive to take care of each other for better or worse is alive and well. However, over time, the unfortunate realities of life may settle in and start to pry out those happy feelings, replacing them with stress.

A couple rarely wakes one day wanting to divorce. As the divorce rate hovers a little over 50%, the reality is that the stress that couples must endure through the years may wear down even the strongest allies. Becoming familiar with some of the common marital stressors that lead to divorce may help in getting you through.

Finances

For many years, couples going through a divorce claim that their biggest stressor is money. There are varying reasons for this top contributing factor to the decision to separate. In some instances, one spouse resents that the other is more successful and adds more to the bank account. On the flip side, in other couples, one spouse may feel too much pressure to make all the money while the other spouse makes little or none. In marriages where one spouse stays home with children, the money woes may flop back and forth between the two.

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 Posted on January 09, 2020 in Divorce

In Texas, there’s a 60-day “cool-off” period between the time you file a petition for a divorce and the time the court can grant it. The law is purposefully designed to give couples a chance to reconsider. Divorce is, after all, a big step and highly disruptive to the lives of everyone in the family.

So, if you’re one of the many people who have decided that January is the time to move forward with their divorce, should you reconsider your decision?

Here are some of the signs that your marriage really is over:

1. You’d rather be alone than with your spouse. Maybe you can’t stand each other or maybe you just don’t interest each other anymore, but that’s a sure sign that neither of you is with the right person.

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 Posted on January 02, 2020 in Family Law

When a child has special needs, you know that there are often unexpected expenses waiting around every corner. Many of those needs should be factored into a request for child support so that you — as your child’s primary physical custodian — don’t end up footing an uneven part of the bills.

Here are some of the most commonly overlooked expenses that a special needs child may have:

• Handicapped transportation services: Your child will have to get back and forth to appointments, school, therapy and more — and that requires transportation. Whether you should ask your ex-spouse to cover part of the cost of transport services or modifications to your vehicle depends mostly on your situation.
• Exercise equipment: Many children with special needs require physical therapy. In-home exercise equipment is sometimes the best solution — but it’s prohibitively expensive for many.

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 Posted on December 26, 2019 in Child Custody

There’s been a very public and highly-charged custody case going on in Texas regarding a transgender child that has conservative lawmakers and action groups in an uproar. We’ve discussed the many twists and turns in this case before — but a new incident has now thrown the case back into the spotlight prematurely — and illustrates some of the dangers of trying a custody case in modern times.

Dallas County Judge Kim Cooks presided over a trial by jury in the custody case a few months ago. In that trial, the father of the child, who was assigned male at birth but identifies as female, demanded full custody of the child. He claimed that his wife was forcing the child to identify as a girl and wanted to emasculate him. The jury agreed that one parent should have full custody — but said it should be the child’s mother, instead.

Judge Cooks disregarded the jury’s recommendation and left the current custody order in place — which gave both parents equal say in their child’s life. Some speculated that political pressure from higher up may have influenced her decision — since it is highly unusual to just ignore a jury’s decision.

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 Posted on December 16, 2019 in Child Custody

For divorcing parents, their No. 1 concern about “what happens next” is usually focused around the children. Many parents want to know how to win their custody case and are looking for reassurance that they can succeed.

Let’s talk about what you can do to improve your chances of doing just that. Here are some of the things you need to do:

1. Define what “winning” means for your situation

The ultimate goal should be making certain that your children are safe and have everything they need to thrive and be happy. In most cases, that means having a good relationship with both their parents. You may need to revise your approach to the custody situation and realize that “winning” doesn’t necessarily mean “exclusive custody.”

2. Be cooperative about parenting

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 Posted on December 13, 2019 in Divorce

The holiday season tends to put a lot of things about your familial relationships into sharp focus — particularly when those relationships leave something to be desired. Although people seldom disrupt the holiday celebrations by filing for divorce without a triggering event, it isn’t unusual for someone to quietly harbor a sense that it’s time to end their marriage and move on.

In fact, it happens all the time. According to at least one recent survey, there’s a spike in the divorce rate by about one-third immediately after the Christmas season is over.

Why? Well, turn on the Hallmark Channel or Netflix and take a look. Watch the ads you see on television. People are bombarded with images of happy family life and well-matched couples who are deeply in love. Given the financial and time constraints of the season, it’s easy to become frustrated in real life when that life doesn’t match up to the ideals that you’re being told exist — or the ones that you have in your head about what a marriage should be like.

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 Posted on December 11, 2019 in Firm News

Now that you have divorced, it may seem like the only people who invite you to holiday get-togethers are happily married couples, and you decline because you would feel like the odd person out.

There is also the loneliness factor to manage. How can you rise above it and get a grip on your bah-humbug attitude?

Holidays and stress

While married, you probably looked forward to the holidays, especially if you have children. However, there was so much to do and so much expected of you that even then, the holidays may have left you feeling stressed out. Now that you are divorced or are in the process of ending your marriage, the amount of stress seems to have doubled. You no longer have the support of family around you, and the holidays have taken on a whole different aspect.

More misery

Some divorced people think of themselves as failures. They see smiling couples who appear to be very happy, which adds to their feelings of inadequacy. They cling to the pain of the past and make no attempt to move forward. This includes trying to recreate family traditions around the holidays that no longer work the way they used to.

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 Posted on December 06, 2019 in Family Law

Money disputes can be among the biggest conflicts in a marriage, so a lot of couples are opting to keep separate bank accounts in addition to a “household” account that’s jointly owned and used to pay the bills. That way, each spouse retains control over their own money and a certain measure of financial autonomy from the other spouse.

Except that distinction between what is “yours” and what is “your spouse’s” may not really exist once you decide to divorce. That fact can be an unpleasant surprise — particularly to the spouse who was more fiscally conservative or invested wisely. Separate bank accounts during your marriage may provide the illusion of separate funds — but the money that’s in those accounts may be considered marital property by the court.

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 Posted on November 29, 2019 in Divorce

Movies help people relax and take their minds off their woes, so why would you want to watch a movie about a divorce when you’re already going through one?

Since you’re “outside looking in,” you can see things a little more clearly than the characters in the film. When the film relates back to your own life, that’s a new way to gain some perspective on your situation. Besides, when you’re going through a divorce, the last thing you may feel like watching is another romantic comedy on the Hallmark channel.

Here’s what to watch instead:

“Marriage Story“

The latest in its genre, this movie hits the little screen on December 6. It takes a funny, romantic, realistic and worthwhile look at what happens after the marriage ends in a divorce.

“The First Wives Club“

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 Posted on November 21, 2019 in Family Law

Being the parent of a special needs child can be daunting and lonely. It may often feel like nobody quite understands exactly what struggles you’re going through — nor do they understand your fears for your child’s future. After all, children with special needs eventually become adults with special needs.

In Texas, it’s important to understand that child support does not necessarily end once a special-needs child turns 18 years of age. In fact, the obligation your ex-spouse has to pay child support may continue for as long as your child is alive.

When deciding whether or not child support should continue past a dependent’s 18th birthday, the court may consider whatever evidence it thinks is relevant. You may be able to show that your child needs things like:

• Medical supplies or treatment that isn’t covered by insurance
• Therapy, including behavioral therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy and more
• Specialized transportation, including a modified vehicle

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